Cat Mad Crochet

Estimated reading time: 18 minutes

Crochet needs so much more yarn than knitting.  (An idea entirely dependent upon stitch pattern.  If you are trying to imitate knitting and use a single, half-double, or double crochet, then yes.  This is true.  If you are using an open, lacy stitch pattern, this is not necessarily true.)  

Crochet garments make you look like you have gained 50 pounds.  (How are you working?  Are you crocheting with the bulkiest weight yarn and a small hook so you get thick, dense, stiff fabric?  Could that be it?  Are you using an appropriate yarn to make a thin sweater?  You don’t get thin sweaters from bulky yarn no matter what medium you work in.  Do you have the right hook size to get a pretty fabric?  I don’t think you are, and that isn’t crochet’s fault, is it?  I think this would make a fascinating art project though, if that was your goal.  Use 50 pounds of yarn to make a sweater.  How can that be done?  Is the sweater huge? Terrifically thick?  Both?  What does this project say about over consumption of material goods in the 21st century?  Bonus points if you can discuss how a 50 pound sweater is both unwearable because of weight and density and size and how that is a metaphor for modern life.)  

Knitting is better for anything more complex than a hat or scarf.  (Ignorance of crochet’s uses is not a reason to assume they must be few and simple.)  

Knitting can’t be beat for drape and stretch. (Beat maybe not, but it can be equaled.  Simply because you personally cannot create a crocheted fabric with drape does not mean it cannot be done.  I can do it, and I’m just an idiot with a hook.)  

Even the lace you can make with knitting beats crocheted lace easily.  (This is just inaccurate.  Yes there are very pretty laces made by knitting.  I would really like to see knitting replicate Irish Crochet.  Go ahead.  I’m waiting.)  

Crochet is only good for blankets and household goods.  (In the hands of someone who is not accomplished in the craft, this might be true.  If you take the time to experiment with fibers, hook sizes, stitch patterns, and shaping, this is not true at all.  It is, in fact, insulting and should serve as more evidence that just because you cannot do something does not mean no one can.)  

Never crochet items that will touch your skin! (Is this because of the natural formation of very sharp, poisonous, deadly thorns inherent to the working of crochet stitches?  The idea that crochet should not touch the skin, by the way, was said by someone who claimed to be a textiles instructor.  Those poor, poor students.)  

Crochet is incompatible with expensive yarn.  (Is this because it uses more yarn?  I can see what you are saying in terms of expense, but I disagree in terms of execution.  Is this because you think expensive yarn has been treated with something that makes it impervious to being manipulated by a crochet hook?  Have you tried it?  What happened?)  

You just can’t replicate the shape and feel of knit sweaters in crochet.  (My husband, who weirdly enjoys logic, tells me you just need one example to prove an all encompassing statement wrong.  I can think of a bunch of people’s crochet work, including mine, to disprove this statement.)  

If you want a sweater to really fit you, you should knit it because you cannot do shaping with crochet.  (Yes, those worthless crochet stitches that can go anywhere with the next stitch and have several options for increasing or decreasing are just terrible to do shaping with.  I mean, why do we even try?  I suppose if you use a very large yarn, then you won’t have very many stitches to play with for shaping.  For example, if you use a heavy yarn that gives you twenty stitches over a set space,  where a fingering weight yarn might give you sixty or more, you will have more trouble shaping with the heavier yarn simply because you do not have as many stitches to play with.  It’s a lot easier to do subtle shaping when you have more stitches and more rows to play in.)  

There are gaping holes in crochet.  (You do realize there are holes in knitting, too, right?  Even weaving has tiny holes.  Solid felt doesn’t have holes if that’s important to you.  Yes, crochet has holes.  Smaller yarns with the right hook size can minimize much of this.  Or perhaps this person was referring to an open stitch pattern.  That’s fair.  Crochet has a lot more lacy stitch patterns than knitting. If you want and need super solid fabric, maybe crochet isn’t right for you, but it is not inherently bad because it didn’t meet your standards.  It just means it isn’t the right choice for you, personally.)  

Crochet fabric is always stiff.  (When made with the wrong hook and yarn combination or a naturally stiff fiber, you are going to get a more rigid crochet fabric.  True.  You do want this for amigurumi and other applications like a bag or basket.  It is not, however, a naturally occurring aspect of crochet.  If you make a sweater that ends up being stiff, you have messed up.  Or the designer has messed up.  This is human error, not a problem with crochet.)  

Crochet has no stretch!  (I made a sweater for my daughter with a 15 inch circumference mock turtleneck that fits nicely over her 24 inch head.  If it didn’t stretch, how would that work, do you think?  Again, if it doesn’t have stretch and it is meant to, this is a design issue or a craftsmanship issue.)  

The fabric is just rigid.  (This is what happens when you use the wrong hook size with the yarn you chose.  Or it could be the wrong stitch pattern.  You need to swatch.  You need to play with hooks and yarn and crochet stitches until you understand how they work.  Then you can avoid the dreaded rigid crochet monsters with ease.)  

If you have big breasts, there is no way you can make a crocheted sweater that fits.  (Because why, exactly?  I can make sweaters that fit well endowed women.  So it can be done.  Your experience is not a law of crochet.  I would argue that, because crochet is so easy to shape, it is actually easier to create a nicely tailored to fit sweater for a well endowed woman than it is with knitting.)  

Odd way to start a pro-crochet blog post?  Maybe.  I found all of these comments on r/crochet under a post entitled “As a loyal crocheter I started knitting a sweater and it’s a whole different world”.  It’s listed as a “crochet rant”.  One might argue that going to r/crochet to tell everyone how much crochet sucks is a . . . choice, but here we are starting a crochet blog post setting straight that each of those comments is garbage.  

Imagine you grew up in an ingredients-only home in which salt is a dangerously hot spice. When you are out on your own, you eat only restaurant and pre-made food, convinced that home cooking is bland. You believe this so firmly that you never try to learn cooking beyond a few dishes because there is no point since it’s going to taste terrible. People say they cook well and they do seem to enjoy their food, but you still hold to your belief that home cooking is bland and unappetizing. Your personal experience is informing your beliefs.  You need to remember that your experience is not the only experience and perhaps, if you let go of your beliefs, you could learn something that would make your enjoyment of food so much better. 

Imagine now if we were talking about crochet versus knitting instead of home cooking versus restaurant and pre-made food.  Even people who love crochet say terrible things about its use as a craft.  It’s time we looked at why that might be and how we can stop it.  

The 1960s and 70s were a gilded age for crochet.  Sure there were lots of patterns and so many people picking up hooks, but the patterns were unflattering to the medium and the people who wore them.  Acrylic yarn with hooks a little too small, what could go wrong?  Everything.  Because this became people’s view of what crochet could be and how it would look.  Nevermind that the 1960s also produced amazing crocheted wearable art.  Most people never saw that.  They saw the weird, ill-fitting patterns that made their way into magazines and the strange granny square creations that roamed the streets.  Heck, the picture of me blowing out my candles on my third birthday cake features my mother in the background in some weird, acrylic, granny square vest.  It’s not flattering.  

I once read, and, now that I need it, cannot find, an article about non-crafting salesmen who were told by their companies, also run by non-crafting men, to market certain yarns for knitting and other yarns for crochet when they made their rounds to the stores.  It made sense to them, I guess, because crochet and knitting are different crafts.  Somehow, when they were going about selling yarn to unsuspecting shop owners, this advice translated to “you can’t crochet with this yarn.”  (And if you heard that last comment in Shirley Jackson’s voice relating the story of her daughter explaining who can or cannot come to her house, we should have tea.) 

Now I think a really good argument could be made that there were plenty of women, and probably some men, store-owners, and employees who heard this pitch who could crochet as well as knit.  I bet they just rolled their eyes and thought, “Bless their hearts.  They do try!  The silly fools.”  But there were other shop owners who were non-crafting men and women who could not crochet (or could only knit) and did not know they were being sold falsehoods.  Despite many crafters clearly knowing and understanding that any yarn can be crocheted with, this idea that some yarns cannot be crocheted with became part of the craft culture.  Crochet.  You know, it’s limited.  So sad.  The poor thing.  Let’s let it make pot holders and blankets.  Maybe it will be happy and not try to make things like sweaters.  Shudder!  Can you even imagine?!?!?!  

I think this idea started by the ill-informed salesmen plays heavily into modern LYS owners telling people who crochet that they cannot work with the yarns in their stores.  I bet those shop owners couldn’t even quite explain how they know this or by what mechanism a crochet hook fails to work pure wool yarn, but they are set in their ways and would likely find the question silly.  But if it creates a situation in which designers also believe that certain yarns do not work for crochet, then they would use only thicker, cheaper, synthetic fibers for their designs.  These are going to produce designs that are less pleasing to the eye and the skin, stiffer, and less easy to shape or create drape in.  Hmmm, where have we heard those complaints before?

Then, of course, there is the class issue associated with crochet.  Yes, 19th century, British, class-based snobbery may still be influencing how crochet is seen today.  Lilly Marsh’s dissertation, found online here (See!  I know where some of my sources are.  I swear I did a better job when I was wrapping up my education.): https://docs.lib.purdue.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2000&context=open_access_dissertations, discusses Elizabeth Zimmerman’s early interest in crochet that was turned off by her grandfather’s second wife who saw the craft as a lowly passtime for the servants.  Elizabeth should stay with knitting (Marsh, 50) so she could be . . . a refined snob?  Pompous?  Arrogant?  Perpetuate a situation years later that still has knitters looking down their noses at crochet?  I guess it’s just important to remember what class you are in even when you sit down to relax for a bit of crafting.  I suppose even your hobbies can mean the difference between being upper class and lower class.  Either way, this is nothing but classism and a relic of aristocratic society.  We can do better.

I want to argue here that I think Americans have done better in the inanity of class wars, at least in terms of crochet in the 19th century.  There is a painting by Mary Cassatt of her sister crocheting (Lydia Crocheting in the Garden at Marly).  She appears to be using a tiny hook and thread.  I don’t think this is her first time crocheting.  Mary’s parents were quite well to do, but, alas, American, so perhaps they were never really going to win the status wars in Europe anyway.  Not going to win?  Might as well enjoy yourself and crochet!  No, really, go get a hook.  It’s way better here on the side with one hook.

Getting back to the 20th century, Elizabeth Zimmerman is only one among so very many women who might have picked up either needles or a hook.  She, unlike most of those women, went on to fundamentally change the shape of what knitting looked like because she was a bad ass girl boss, despite her views on crochet.  She believed, rightly, that the yarn companies were not the arbitrators of pattern making.  They put themselves there because if they could control pattern sales, then they could control and direct yarn sales.  And if they controlled patterns and yarn choices, then knitting became a passive craft, controlled by companies more concerned with sales than beauty, and knitters lost their power and voice in their own craft.  They are still doing this in both knitting and crochet.  There are countless stories of designers being asked to rework lace sweaters in a bulky yarn with ten color changes because the yarn company sponsoring the publication wants to sell a certain yarn and lots of it.  

Zimmerman fought against this by encouraging knitters to learn to make garments to their own size, taste, and aesthetics by learning the art of their craft.  Really, this was a return to how knitting had been done by countless women for centuries before the yarn companies deemed themselves the “experts”.  She demonstrated garment making techniques that made sweaters easier to make and tailor.  She urged knitters to learn the geometry of garments and the procedures to construct them so that knitters could work without the burden of the yarn companies’ taste dictating the look and feel of their own projects.  When the yarn companies refused to print Zimmerman’s patterns the way she wrote them, she set about releasing them to knitters in her newsletter.  She was unstoppable when it came to making the craft she loved more accessible to crafters.  

We can do this as crocheters, too!  We can learn how to manipulate stitches, fabric construction, and garment shapes to create anything we please.  A few basic rules can open up the world of crochet to whatever your mind can dream up!  Imagine if Elizabeth Zimmerman had stayed with crochet?  We might be having conversations about how fiddly knitting is and how crochet is just all around easier to design garments with, you know, given the myriad of cool stitch patterns and functionality of the fabric.  But she didn’t, so we need to create this knowledge base and society of crochet enthusiasts today so that crochet can fully come into its own in the world of design and craft, just as knitting did.   

Some of the love of knitting over crochet is, of course, just based on preference for the look of the thing.  I understand that one craft might appeal to a crafter’s aesthetic vision or personal talents more than the other, even if you know both, but there seems to be an elitism to the “I don’t crochet” stance that is born of more than aesthetics, especially when crochet is quite as capable as knitting of making beautiful garments.  

Perhaps, beyond aesthetics, this anti-crochet stance is because no one has done for crochet what Zimmerman did for knitting:  teach people how to knit not how to follow a pattern.  I think it’s the equivalent of knowing how to cook versus knowing how to follow a recipe.  It’s a vital skill and improves your enjoyment of any craft or hobby tremendously.  Zimmerman really did help the knitting world for the better.  We need someone who is willing to teach the world how to crochet the way Zimmerman taught people how to knit.  Then maybe some of this anti-crochet madness will stop.  

Because without this knowledge, we are in a bad spot.  Contemporary crochet garments are plagued with designs that don’t use the right hook for the right yarn for the right stitch pattern to create a garment with stretch and drape, fitted to the wearer in a graceful way.   These qualities are not the domain of knitting alone.  Crochet can stretch and still use beautiful stitches; it can drape and not be full of holes; it can be fitted and not be stiff and unyielding.  It shines with single ply yarns that show off the stitches.  It has so very many stitch patterns to choose from.  Do you want texture?  Lace?  Texture with lace?  Solid fabric?  Solid fabric with some texture?  Crochet can do all of that and more.

I’m not the only one saying this either.  There was another article, which again I cannot find despite me making note of the thing somewhere so I could find it again, in which several well known and accomplished crochet designers talked about what it takes to learn to create beautiful crocheted garments with drape and stretch and good fit.  Let me tell you what they said since I can’t point you to the article:  It takes years of trying out different yarns and hooks and stitch patterns.  You have to try things and you have to fail.  You have to try again while consciously examining what didn’t work so you can make it better.  And you have to keep doing this again and again and again until you really start to understand crochet stitches and yarn and hooks and how they all work together to really see all that crochet can be.      

This particular development of skills is not a topic you find resources about in the crochet world.  Most resources are focused on helping the beginner get started.  These days there are so many people with minimal skills putting out patterns that people new to the craft do not always see the harder patterns, the more difficult skills, the challenges that would take them to a new level in crochet.  Neither do some of those designers, for that matter.  Some people even argue that they thought crochet was just granny squares.  This makes me inexorably sad.  Crochet is worlds more than granny squares.  

I love crochet.  I love the nubbiness of the fabric.  I love that shaping is actually so easy to do.  I love that there are so many stitch pattern options to fit any garment you can come up with.  I love that all you need is a hook and some yarn and some sort of resource, from an online video to a book to a friend or family member, to get started.  I love that you can crochet with any fiber, plastic bags, long scraps of fabric, or even wire.  I wish people understood that you can learn to crochet in a very short period of time but becoming a master of the craft takes a lot of time, patience, research, and critical self-assessment.  If I can learn to crochet and have people think it’s knitwear, you can too, if you are willing to put in the time.  And maybe, if enough people do take the time to really master crochet, the highest compliment one can pay to good crochet won’t be that it looks like another craft.  

To the new crocheter:  Please give crochet a chance and really learn the skills to become better at it.  You don’t have to be perfect and you don’t have to write your own patterns, but you can always be better.  Don’t stop at granny squares.  Don’t think that the easy patterns are the only patterns.  

And to anyone who reads this far and still thinks crochet is just a garbage craft, please keep that to yourself.  Crochet doesn’t have to be for you.  That’s fine.  You can say that you don’t like it because aesthetically it isn’t to your taste, I’m not going to be offended.  What you don’t get to say is that crochet is a mediocre craft best only for blankets and baskets and pot holders.  You do not get to diminish an entire craft because you do not personally like it or because you have not taken the time to master it.  This is both rude and unfair.  Please take the time to do better.